Saturday, July 18, 2020

5 Stages of Shango for Mercedes Holford



i
behind her smile
   is a rage
hand her my axe
  as we ride
adorn her neck
  with the red and white bead
 whisper the wisdom
once more in her ear
    she is my cedar
       planted in kansas
   the white egg shell
      smudged and reborn
  in every heart that knew her
 the consort
of Black Valhalla
my warrior child
forever

ii
and somewhere
  beneath that rona tragedy
    is mother and daughter
no killer found
    who stalks her memory
without knowing
   Shango
kabiesile!
lifted seat
  lifts axe to you
foul and cruel
      lava burn your eyes
   carved grooves in face
your judgment
breathless gasps
     child smiles tattooed inside your eyelids
the city
topeka
that fails all you touch
   that takes all you nurtured
and renders it dust
a balloon in the sky
      that flies raven
forevermore
til it falls like acid
like justice
 on heads unwashed
uncleaned of wicked
    not-snitched
we’ll find you
       warrior sister slayer
Shango have mercy!

iii
restored mercedes
to her rightful throne
     fixed her crown
        and makeup
   repainted her smile
she no longer dies
she is again who she was
    laughing in hallways
    dodging homework
    the jump up to goat’d beats
Black girl magic says 
     she’ll live forever
if her sister mirrors are made whole

iv
the nothingness of tomorrow
   of the Black girl in constant suspension
  the SRO who cuffs her soul
        too powerful to be detained
so 
     we lost
  for all our fighting
    and the guns always win
      our cash crop
    must flow i guess
for american greatness
on ventilators
  and a balloon is all we have to remember
forever

v
but if she has to go
    she should know
 that smile
was all i wanted
       that now we know
  just how hard the heart can rip
  just how easily life can slip
  just what we saw
     hiding behind that smile
and i’ll see you
   in the lightning and thunder
 riding with Shango forever
Mercedes

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